It has been quite a while since we last spoke. In fact, it's been since the conference tournament weekend. That was two weeks ago. What have I done since you might ask? Took some finals, flew to the nation's capital, and a couple other historic United States cities. Some might say I have traveled more than such schools as Georgetown, Notre Dame, and Villanova from the Big East or maybe Kansas from the Big 12, or even those "good" schools out of the A10. Either way, lots has happened in these two weeks. Brackets have been destroyed, weird white guys have been winning games they shouldn't (Northern Iowa and Cornell) and even the Pac-10 has had a winning record thus far in the tournament at 3-1.
I was there in person for Georgetown's fall from grace against Ohio (who?). Well, I was visiting Georgetown when it happened, so not really in person, but kind of. Better yet, I got to watch Kansas lose live and screw my bracket even though I was travelling around DC. I saw part of Nova's game as they lost to the Bay Area's new pride, St. Mary's. And lets not even start talking about Cornell and Northern Iowa because that's been done by every professional on ESPN, Yahoo! Sports, SI, and some random foreign media. But you know, enough about the past. It is time to look forward towards a tasty Sweet-16. Here is what I want to see happen this weekend and why (by region):
MIDWEST:
1. UNI beats MSU. Why? So I can laugh even more at that super ugly white guy who looks like a leprechaun on growth hormones and anabolic steroids.
2. OSU loses to TN. Why? Everyone loves Bruce Pearl... unless of course they hate Jews. Nothing like having a member of the tribe having a chance to advance to the F4.
3. 1+2=69. Why? If you combine the previously mentioned outcomes, the Elite-8 match-up will be a "69" and no college male will object to that, right?
4. Evan Turner has a great game for OSU. Why? I want him to solidify his National Player of the Year over John Wall, simple as that.
5. TN beats out UNI and moves on to the F4. Why? see reason #2.
West:
1. Butler beats 'Cuse. Why? My adventurous weekend with some homegurlz in DC led me to not like 'Cuse. I think they will win, but lets give one out to the Hoyas. You know, because they blew it (like the rest of their conference).
2. KSU destroys Xavier. Why? So KSU fans can rub it in to the Jayhawk faithful how much closer they are getting to winning a championship. Two more and they catch "tradition heavy" Kansas.
3. KSU beats Butler. Why? see #2. Having Butler in the F4 would be comical cause they could barely beat UCLA, but I'll go against it.
East:
1. Cornell over UK. Why? So Calipari doesn't have a chance to vacate another F4 appearance. So UK has no shot at being two away from double digits. Lastly, so the team that claims to be the greatest ever (umm 11 > 7, sorry) loses to an Ivey League school.
2. Washington over WVU. Why? All my friends in the Big East give the Pac-10 shit. However, for the sake of comedy and West Coast bragging, lets have UDub get this one.
3. A double digit seed advances to the F4. Why? Everyone loves an underdog. Especially when their team is already out of it.
4. Kentucky gets sanctions. Why? It'd be hilarious. Third time is not the charm for Calipari.
South:
1. Duke loses. Why? No one likes the smug Dukies. Losing to a team from rural Indiana without their biggest star will be even funnier.
2. SMC over Baylor. Why? I'm from the Bay Area and so is Saint Mary's. Plus, it'll be funny to have another Big 12 team to a much lower seeded foe.
3. SMC advances to F4. Why? This will potentially set-up a match-up with Bruce Pearl and his band of Vols. What better than a title game between a Catholic school and a Jewish head coach?
4. Coach K loses, a sponsorship. Why? Everyone is sick of him. Except Dick Vitale. But everyone is sick of Dickey V. Therefore, no one really likes Coack K.
5. Chris Kramer dunks over Nolan Smith and/or Lance Thomas. Why? Duke plays like four whities at all times (sometimes three, god forbid), so why not have a white boy from Purdue hurdle Duke's remaining rotation players. A dunk over Andre Dawkins would suffice too.
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