Clown Show in South Central

Oh boy... what happened? Just a week ago everyone thought that Pete Carroll would stay over at SUC and that the Pac-10 and college football are going into a relatively mellow (not including the Coaches against Humanity efforts) off-season. Well, then came Friday afternoon and all hell broke loose. We then had the weekend to hope that everything is true and wait for Cheat to officially sign with the Seahawks. Only on earlier this week Tennessee fans figured they'd still have a slimy loud-mouth head coach. They don't anymore (well, they can always get another one). The bottom line is that a lot has happened this week in Los Angeles (and Seattle, Knoxville, Corvallis, Jacksonville). I have decided to give the five main stories and subplots that will prove to be most significant in the wake of Lane (what a dumb name) Kiffin taking the U$C job.

5. U$C's dirtiness is mentioned on ESPN, a lot. Every Bruin fan (and most people around the Left Coast) know about U$C's dirty recruiting and has been waiting for the NCAA to "grow a pair" and punish them for it. Well, with Pete bailing on the sinking ship, ESPN has finally decided to acknowledge the wrongdoings of U$C on a consistent basis. Considering the fact that they really are the World Wide Leader in sports, it's a big deal in my book.

4. Former U$C player and assistant turn them down. How many candidates did Notre Dame go through to find their guy after a 6-6 season? One. U$C after a 9-4 season? Like four. But let's concentrate on two. Yeah, Mike Riley turned them down in 2001 and things turned out well for $C. But come on, how is this not discouraging for Trojan fans? He decided to turn down a bunch of money and Los Angeles to stay in Corvallis! Corvallis?!?!?!?! Yes, Corvallis. Worst yet, they were turned down by a former Trojan player who is coaching all the way on the other side of the country. The saddest part about Del Rio turning down his alma mater is the fact that he turned them down to coach one of the best players in the league. Maurice Jones-Drew, a Bruin.


3. University of Tennessee gets Kiffin off their hands. For those who have not seen the riots that have been breaking out in Knoxville, I would suggest you open up a new tab on your browser and go to YouTube, ASAP. It was amazing what happened. (Fast to get out of there) Lane was lucky to have gotten out of there. I am not really sure if Vol fans are more mad because they missed out on a good coach or because said coach just abandoned them all of the sudden. I think it's safe to go with the latter. Though it's going to hurt in Knoxville with recruiting for the short-run, I believe that a program with great history, great stadium, and from what I hear good fanbase will turn out just fine.


2. Lane Kiffin is hired by Master Cheater (I mean Athletic Director) Mike Garrett. Ok, he is a good recruiter. But he's also a cheater who after only a single season of college coaching has a bunch of secondary violations piling up. Additionally, he already got fired by the Raiders (record of 5-15, ouch) and had a 7-6 record with a bowl loss in his only season in Knoxville. Good job Mike Garrett! To sum it all up though, he lost 19-15 to some team from California that wears Blue and Gold (no, not you Cal) and hates U$C. Nothing like a home loss against who is now your arch-rival, at home.


1. Norm Chow shows that U$C is not a "dream job". Lets see, Norm Chow turned down a chance to coach the #1 rated overall prospect from 2009 in Matt Barkley, a legit receiver in Ronald Johnson, and a top notch crop of running backs. He also turned down a chance to earn a salary of 1.5 million, which would have been almost three times his current salary at UCLA. Lane Kiffin hasn't even played UCLA as a U$C head coach, but already lost a huge battle. For those of you who are mathematically inclined here is an equation that for sure will drive this point home to you:

(UCLA + $600,000) > (U$C + $1.5x10^6 + 5-star QB+ impending sanctions)