Midseason Report

So I have been completely off on most of my predictions about how this Pac-10 season was going to turn out, but I feel like so have a lot of people. Who would have known that Washington can't win (even once!) away from the friendly confines of Bank of America Arena? Who knew Arizona would be able to put something legitimate together and be in a tie a top the conference? And who knew that Oregon would win its first two, then drop a five, then sweep the LA schools? Not me and not anyone. This has been a roller coaster season, and even that is an understatement. For those who like to see actual numbers, here is the way the conference looks right now (courtesy of ESPN):

Yes, only three games separate first and last place. There are also five teams with a 4-5 record right now. With the exception of Oregon State, all the teams are tied at least with one other team. There balance and parity is out of control this year. But don't be fooled, it's not in a good way. I've watched plenty of the league games both in person and on the tube, and never saw a team put a three game stretch that would turn the heads of the NCAA Selection Committee. In this post I made some daring guesses about how the conference would transpire. Right now, I think that I would like to flip my top team and most disappointing team. I mean, Arizona is overachieving and Washington is completely inconsistent and undeserving of any praise at this point in the season. In five weeks, this could change again though. As far as my picks for FOY and POY I think that I am right on point because Reeves Nelson and Quincy Poindexter have worked wonders for UCLA and Washington respectively. So yay, I am 50% right at this point! This is like getting back a UCLA Engineering midterm because if you are above the 40% average, you can feel good about yourself.

Pac-10 Basketball = Crap

With another disappointing yet somewhat expected UCLA loss today coupled with Washington getting dominated by the Hoyas in Anaheim, I realized that this year is most definitely not a good one for the Pac-10. Actually to be fair, this seemed pretty obvious when Texas Tech beat Washington, and even earlier when Cal got embarrassed by 'Cuse. The only highlight for the Pac-10 thus far has to be Stanford's choke against Kentucky (which has still yet to lose a game). So how bad is the conference this year? Really bad. Like, when a U$C student attempts to spell SAT bad. Actually, maybe slightly better than that. Here are some disgusting numbers at how badly the conference has looked in the first month of the season:

Teams with a winning record: 5 (WSU, Cal, Washington, ASU, and Stanford)
Teams ranked in the top-25: 1 (Washington)
Teams ranked in the top-15: 0
Horrible Losses: Cal v. NMU, Stanford v. USD, Stanford v. ORU, Oregon v. Montana, OSU v. AMCC, OSU v. Sac State, U$C v. LMU, UCLA v. CSUF, UCLA v. LBSU.
Bad Losses: Washington @ TTU, Baylor @ ASU, Cal v. 'Cuse, Arizona @ SDSU.

Yeah, this is U-G-L-Y! There is no way around it. I even left out the losses by UCLA and Oregon to Portland, mainly because Portland turned out to be pretty good against other good teams. Also, it seems like the conference has like one or two wins against top-25 competition. Actually, according to what I just saw over at ESPN.com it's more like ZERO wins. As Andy Katz said in a column he wrote a few weeks ago, the conference might only get two invites come March. At the time, I thought that he was being somewhat ridiculous. Now? I might have to agree.

The Whacky Pac-10

This conference is insane. Really. How can so many teams still have a shot at a trip to Pasadena on January 1st? What more insane is that all those teams sport respectable records and a Top-25 ranking. Here is a link to a post I did two weeks ago about the state of the Pac-10 after Week 9. Now, look how the conference looks right now (courtesy of ESPN):

Here is what jumps out to me with the current state of the Pac:
1. U$C is in 5th place and will probably not finish higher than 3rd.
2. 6 teams have earned bowl eligibility, with UCLA one win away, and ASU having a shot at it too.
3. While Arizona is in 4th, they still control their destiny.
4. Stanford is 2nd, and would probably not fall beyond 5th.
5. A 3 way tie, if not 4 way tie is still not out of the question.

Oh by the way, I am pretty sure that I correctly gave props to Stanford a month and a half ago, after just 5 weeks into the college football season. Furthermore, I also knew Andrew Luck was a special player (took me a game in person to do it, but still) in addition to TG. Then again, if Cal beats Stanford in Palo Alto next Saturday, it can all change once again. How can anyone NOT love this???

The Scariest, Creepiest mascot in college sports

Oski of the Cal Bears

I remember my first encounter with Oski. I was a young, vibrant, attractive college freshmen playing alto saxophone in the UCLA Marching Band. We were playing Cal at their home and everything was going swell until I heard some screaming coming from near the tailgate area. After that I saw a brown and yellow figure sprinting towards campus being trailed by UC Berkeley Police. Abandoning my saxophone warmup circle, I searched for the source of the screaming which by this point had developed into low regulated sobbing and discovered that Oski the Bear had molested yet another 7 year old.

Okay, so some of that story didn't actually happen. But look at this guy. Look at that creepy and overexxxagerated grin. It's a trademark pedosmile - the sort of smile a pedophile gets sitting at a public park bench seeing kids having a water balloon fight. Look at that hunched back. He can't even stand upright. He has to stay hunched so he can target his prey - unsuspecting 7 year olds. Oski the Bear is a 80 year old pervert who assaults and molests young children. His strategy is so brilliant: what is more welcoming and fun for a small child than a big old nice bear. He has that Yogi the Bear vibe going: kind of awkward looking but loveable. Except whereas Yogi the Bear only delved into picnic baskets, Oski the Bear delves into the pants of prepubescent minors.

There isn't any reason that Oski the Bear has to be a pedophile. He's a bear. Bears are inherently rugged, manly, and awesome. How hard is it to fuck up a bear mascot for a college? Here's a mascot based off a bear that doesn't look like he wants to suckle on the lollipops of the young: Joe Bruin of the UCLA Bruins. Joe doesn't molest the young. Joe specializes in beating ass and eating young Trojans. Joe eats 4 to 5 Trojans a day in order to satiate his bottomless hunger. Sometimes Joe spices up his meals with the tears of silly USC students who sob mercilessly at night clutching their rejection letters from UCLA. Joe is often seen at UCLA sporting events using his bear pheremones to enrage the crowd and players against the opposite football team. Joe Bruin epitomizes everything a college mascot should be. When I see Joe Bruin, I don't think about shielding my kids from his gaze. I instead bring my (metaphorically speaking) children to Joe Bruin so they can sit at his knee while he teaches them how to be a badass.

Oski should be locked away and have to wear a GPS device from his ankle and live at least 3,000 feet away from a public school or park.

Joe Bruin doesn't like children unless they're upcoming UCLA students that he mentors or Trojan children that comprise his his diet. UCLA might borrow most of its iconography from Cal (including mascot, fight song, colors, even names of buildings) but this is always done because we show Cal where they fucked up and then illustrate how one can improve on it.
Joe Bruin is a stud. Fuck Oski, fuck Cal, go Bruins!!!