Tropic Thunder: Recasted

Recently my friends and I watched Tropic Thunder multiple times, and realize how great of a movie it is. To me, it really is underrated and was overshadowed last summer by other films. It got me thinking, what athletes (or sports personnel) would be great for this movie had the parts been re-casted? Below is my list of those who I think would make those great characters.

Kirk Lazarus: Tom Brady - look at the multiple academy awards as multiple super bowl rings. Though he hasn't changed skin color, he knows not to go full retard.

Jeff Portnoy: David Allen - he's an English rugby player (so he's a big guy), and he tested positive for cocaine, so he has that going for him. Josh Hamilton a few years ago would have been a fine option too.

Kevin Sandusky: Greg Maddux - seems like a total nerd, someone who would totally do all the work necessary to win even though he lacks the physical traits.

Alpa Chino: Cristiano Ronaldo - sadly he's not black so that comparison doesn't work. However, he's the most feminine athlete I have seen in a long time. Thus, he gets the nod as the closeted homosexual character.

Tugg Speedman: Peyton Manning - it took him a while to finally win the Super Bowl. He had basically everything else going for him before that, very much so like Speedman.

Damien Cockburn: Steve McClaren - he could not do anything in two years as the manager of the English national football (soccer) team. Just like in the movie, he could not do much with a cast full of stars. To be fair, any manager of this team in the last 40 years could easily qualify for this roll.

Four Leaf Tayback: George O'Leary - he completely lied on his resume when he got the Notre Dame gig (before they found out and booted him), hence he is a perfect match.

Les Grossman: George Steinbrenner - drops a lot of money, an asshole, really demanding. Mark Cuban might also work for this role. Only difference is that he hasn't had a winning product (aka won an actual championship).

Rick Peck: Brian Cashman - he was Steinbrenner's bitch, enough said.