Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Oregon Football Jersey Week: Part II

I guess if my school had the CEO of Nike as an alum, I'd have a new jersey each season too. You would think though that a reputable sports outfitter like Nike would have at least hired some decent fashion designers so that travesties like the one below never happened.
Oregon Football 2006: We're so hard our shoulders and knees are steel pattern bro! Man we're tough!

Oh man. These were the jerseys that Oregon debuted my freshman year of college. I remember seeing them for the first time and being like..."what is that on their shoulders...isn't that like a steel pattern that you see inside of submarines and battleships?...what does that have to do with Oregon?"

Face it Oregon. You might have had pretty great offenses over the past few years and that's cool and all, but you represent the state of Oregon. Not the U.S.S. Oregon. Here's some fun facts about state of Oregon that don't exactly match up with this rough and rugged jersey.

State Animal: Beaver. Oh man. Ohhhh man. The things I want to say about the Beaver could go on and on and would ultimately travel down a path of sexual innuendo not becoming of the fine writership featured here at RJS. Aside from that. Beaver huh? Man beavers are TOUGH. Look at them. They so...small...and furry...with cute little buck teeth. Oh and don't forget the big flappy tail! Honestly, there are few animals more tough...and rugged... ah crap I can't even complete this sentence without busting up.
State Beverage: Milk. How nice. It's healthy and builds strong bones. Fits perfectly with the uber hippy mentality they have over there in California's hat (not be confused with America's hat, which is Canada). Health, fitness, nature, beavers, the Oregon way of life. Silly Oregonians.
State Dance: Folk dance. AHA. HAHA. HAHAHAHA. HA. I seriously can't handle this. When I first learned about this fact about Oregon all I could imagine was a bunch of hippies dancing in the forests singing songs about peace and love and kumbay yah and all that stuff.

Wow Oregon. You're SO TOUGH. Tough like...a battleship! Weeeeee! I salute you Oregon, and your awesome steel plated jerseys. Maybe you need those steel plates after all, to cover up all the furry softness we know lies beneath.

5 comments:

  1. So pick and choose your facts to share and act like that's all there is nice work very mature and informative, hey what's Califonia's state animal? Oh yeah the Grizzly Bear, how many of thse do you still have around anyway? Oh, that's right they are extinct in Califonia. If Oregon is California's Hat, then it ould also be said that California is Oregon's hemmoroid, I mean I'm just saying... Hey what are you guys going to do for water when the levee system in the sacramento Valley fails? Hmmm 25 million people with 1/2 the water they used to have not to mention all that agriculture down the drain, but hey I don't want to bother you with actual relevent facts about your state Jackass

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